The Meatball

It was with great anticipation that I took the Meatball down the Tail of the Dragon on Sunday. What's that you ask? What's what? The Meatball or the Dragon? Ah yes, read on and it will be explained.

I've been drawn to quirky, out of place cars since I was a kid. The Meatball is a 1990 Saab 900 Turbo, also referred to as a C900 for "Classic" 900 because it was the last of the Saab built 900's before GM came in and ruined everything. Since the car is Swedish (duh), it's the Meatball (double duh).  I bought it for $450, drove it home and have since done little to it other than have the paint restored, a wheel bearing replaced, new(ish) tires, a tune-up(sort of) and the a/c sorted. I bought it with 150,000 miles on it from the son of the original owner and have since driven the hell out it. It's been to Georgia twice, all over Richmond, Northern VA and DC. On Sunday, it traveled to North Carolina/Tennessee and took a trip down the Tail of the Dragon...

The Dragon is a stretch of road on US 129 that runs from North Carolina into Tennessee near Maryville. It's 11 miles long and is purported to have 318 curves. I last rode down the Dragon in 2004 in a 2004 Scion xA with 3 friends, coolers and a few hot dogs in the back. I rode it on my motorcycle in 2002, 6 months after I had a bone breaking wreck. The trip was fun both times and quite memorable. The road was not any different this time around.

To get to the dragon from Maryville, you have to take a 20 mile hike down the less windy part of US129. It's fun and if you aren't careful, you will fly down the road. Like I did. And get pulled over. Like I did. I haven't had the blue light behind me in several years. I managed to do it yesterday TWO times. That's a feat I never accomplished as a younger, faster guy. I was let off with a warning for going 62 in a 40. You have to pay attention to the road and not the lake next to it. Lesson learned.

To take a 21 year old car down the Dragon is pretty stupid. Having your wife, a dog and all your luggage in the hatch adds to the stupidity. If the Saab's suspension isn't the original, 21 year old shocks/tie-rod ends/balljoints/etc, I'll eat my shoe. While suicidal, it was stupid fun. The first pass was pretty quick. The wife never got sick (or the dog), no one got in the way and there were no tractor trailers. We pulled in at the NC state line to the resort, took a potty break, got some Dragon loot, and went back. The second pass was a little slower. I got stuck behind an arsehole in a pick-up truck who was all over the road. At one point, he swung over into the other lane and nearly nailed a biker, a biker who redlined his bike and told the trucker who number one was. If you've never been to the Dragon, it's hard to imagine anything else being any curvier anywhere. Switchbacks after switchbacks...it's insane. You really have to be careful...fortunately for those of us who, ahem..., like to drive fast, there are roadside areas where the slower folks can pull over. The trucker pulled over for me and I was able to catch 2 bikers who were not going as fast as they probably could, but could destroy a slow, 21 year old car if they really wanted to.

In the end, the Meatball did the road two times and lived to tell about it. The suspension spent most of the time being bottomed out, the tires were screaming and the photographers who take pictures of the folks on the Dragon were having a ball watching an old, swedish pig muscle it's way through the curves. In a few months, armed with new suspension components, tires and less crap in the back, I will be taking the car to see what my fastest time is down the road. I suspect this old $450 "luxury" car will whip the ass out of several cars that cost more and are newer. We shall see...